


lullaby

by coloradohouse



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Sabriel - Freeform, basically shit's fucked, but theres comfort, im a slut for naming chapters after songs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 17:44:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20510969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coloradohouse/pseuds/coloradohouse
Summary: screw canon





	lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. thank you to my friends for giving me the idea for this  
2\. thank you to my mom for helping me edit and proofread cuz i don't know what the hell I'm doing  
3\. thank you to @unityghost for inspiring some of this  
4\. Chapter title (Hard as Nails by Peter Wolf Crier)

Sam finished cutting the last of the wire from Gabriel’s mouth a few minutes after Ketch and Dean were already long gone through the portal into Apocalypse World. Sam wasn’t quite sure, but it seemed like the material was made from repurposed Angel Blade metal.  
He had to pull the string through the hole’s in Gabe’s lips, and since the skin had already healed over the wire, it was incredibly painful and the process dragged on.  
Gabriel trembled the entire time, making it difficult for Sam to keep the blade steady. The last thing he wanted to do was add to the archangel’s wounds.

Afterwards, they both sat in silence, Sam wasn’t sure what to say. Gabriel slowly raised his hand to touch his lips, not quite yet understanding that he was now free to speak.

“Gabriel,” Sam began. “You can talk now. You don’t have to, but you can.”

There were a few more moments of silence before Sam noticed something. Gabriel began to shake even harder than he already was. He let out a small whimper and then…

Screaming.

Sam covered his ears immediately. The entire bunker began to rattle and shake. The lightbulbs on the table lamps exploded, sending glass flying everywhere.  
Sam felt pressure building up in his head as the sound attacked his eardrums.

\---

Castiel was currently standing by a lake, observing the birds on the water. Many of them swam closer to him in search of snacks, however he had none. He thought about coming back later with food.  
For some reason, he felt… Off. He couldn’t quite explain it, but something in the air felt wrong.

His phone gave a small ping noise to notify him of a text. Already feeling on edge, it nearly made him jump. He pulled his phone from one of the inner pockets of his trenchcoat.

**Sam - now******

**Help. Bunker.******

Castiel immediately began to worry. Something was definitely wrong, and whatever it was felt familiar in a sense. It could be, he thought, that these two things weren’t connected, and in that case he’d have two problems on his hands.  
Right now, he was needed at the bunker, and the Winchesters were always a first priority.

He spread his wings, and with a harsh flap, he was up in the air. The gust from the liftoff sent the grass below him into a tizzy and disturbed the lake’s water. The ducks closest to him gave a dirty look and quickly swam off.

The closer he got to the bunker, the stronger the feeling became. The wind felt wrong on his wings.

That’s when he heard it. The screaming. His chest felt cold. He wanted to stop flying to the bunker, he wanted to turn around. But he couldn’t.  
This scream, it was powerful. It wasn’t human, nor of this world. But he knew exactly where it had come from.  
How?  
All the archangels in this world were gone in one way or another, this screaming should not be present, here, today. 

Fighting through the urge to retreat, he dove down to the bunker’s front door, and swung it open.  
Everything was shaking, glass was shattering, books fell off shelves.  
He rushed down the stairs and to the source, which was the library. 

He stood in shocked silence. It… It was Gabriel. Castiel’s wings bristled. The screaming was coming from his brother. Cas thought he would never see him again, he thought Gabriel was dead. They all thought he was dead.  
Gabriel was on the floor, holding his head down with his knees tucked up to his chest. And his wings… The sight of them made Castiel’s stomach lurch. They were all broken, bound in Enochian-engraved barbed wire. It dug into his skin and feathers, causing some spots to bleed and small amounts of light from his Grace peered through the wounds. They were bound in such a way that pressed at the center of his wings, which could paralyze an angel with ease, but would only make an archangel feel weak. 

A sound like this could kill a human, and Cas hoped he wasn't already too late.  
Sam was hiding behind a bookshelf, hands over his ears. Blood trickled down the sides of his face and his teeth were clenched.

Castiel’s eyes flashed white, creating a grace barrier to shield the Hunter from the sound. Sam's head shot up to look at Cas.

"Cas!" He exclaimed. "What… Did he stop?"

"No, he didn't. I created a sound barrier so your head won't explode."

Sam didn't look at all comforted by that statement. "...What's happening?" 

Cas sighed. "Angels, when they're terrified, critically wounded, devastated or furious will cry out this way. It hardly ever happens, however." 

Sam, still holding his head, carefully began to stand. "So-- ow-- What can we do?" 

"There's nothing to be done. Eventually, he will stop, it's just a matter of waiting.”

Sam shifted his weight and loosely crossed his arms. “This is really bad, Cas.”

Castiel tilted his head slightly. “What exactly happened?”

Sam was reluctant to reply, he knew hearing about Gabriel’s time as a prisoner would hurt Cas. 

“Sam?”

“You remember when he supposedly died?” Sam began. “I guess it was another… trick. Me and Dean had just gotten back to the bunker, and Ketch was here--”

_“Ketch?”___

“Yup.” Sam huffed. “He got in, and he had Gabriel with him. He told us that Asmodeus had been holding him captive for… I’m not sure how long.”

Cas’s jaw clenched. “He was with Asmodeus this whole time?” 

Sam nodded. “Gabe was about in the same shape he’s in now, but he… His mouth was sewn shut. And when taking some grace for the portal was brought up, he freaked out. I mean, full on panic attack. Gabriel had his eyes locked on every movement we made.” 

Cas stared at Sam in disbelief. “What did he do to him?”

“I don’t know. He tortured him,” Sam raised his arm to gesture into the library. “Sewed his mouth shut. Ketch didn’t say much more than that.” 

That seemed to make Cas more frustrated. “Where is Ketch?” He demanded.

“He’s in Apocalypse World… with Dean.”

“Dean is in another dimension? With Ketch?” He threw his hands up in defeat. “And none of you bothered to tell me any of this was happening?”

“I’m sorry, Cas, it all happened in the span of like, 10 minutes.”

Castiel began to pace, muttering Enochian phrases that Sam could barely understand. Angels spoke much faster than humans, so even if you knew the language it was hard to keep up with. 

“You said it yourself, we just have to wait.” 

“I know that!” Cas snapped. “I... Damn it. I’m going to check on him.”

\---

Gabriel was still curled into himself letting out a terrified scream. Cas could hear it twisting and scratching at his brother’s vocal chords. He was worried he’d lose the ability to speak, especially since Gabriel was tied to this vessel.  
Castiel could do nothing but sit at a safe distance and wait.

Yes, regular angels could cry out like that, but it wasn’t quite the same. There was a clear distinction between the two. Sometimes, when an angel fell, they’d scream. But not every time.  
When Metatron had closed heaven, most angels who fell had screamed. Those who weren’t dead before they hit the ground cried out in fear and pain.  
Some of those screams became choked, and slowly quieter until it turned into a whimper, then abruptly stopped. 

Angels made lots of sounds that humans couldn’t understand, sounds for when they were happy, tired, grumpy, confused, sad, worried. You name it. They had songs that could also convey any emotion. Gestures, words, body language, and even color.  
For instance, when God created cats, he based the purring on a sound the angels would make when warm and content.

Things like this were why humans have always been confusing to angels. God had created a completely different language, or maybe it was the humans that did. But it was nothing like the way angels communicated, and they found it limiting. It was hard for them to adapt to a completely different species, one that they were assigned to protect, when they could hardly understand them.  
For one, the angels had to learn how to convert Enochian into wording and letters humans could even comprehend. Over time, it became easier, but many thought it was strange and a waste of time.  
Balthazar had once complained to Castiel about how difficult it is to have to find a willing vessel every time he was sent to Earth for a mission. You had to find a human who would to let you in, and many wouldn’t. Despite the presence of angels being calming, it was still hard to understand. When people spoke of hearing a voice asking to take control of them, they thought it sounded crazy. Others warned everyone not to listen, or they’d be cursed. 

Of course, that wasn’t the intention of angels, but it was a bit aggravating. But what were you supposed to feel when your form and voice could instantly destroy a human? When you have thousands of ways to convey one single emotion while humans only had one or two? When human vessels have such limiting movements and actions? 

As Cas was deep in thought about this, he realized Gabriel’s screaming had broken off into loud sobs.  
He stood and gestured for Sam to come out from behind the bookshelf. 

“What’s happening now?” Sam whispered.

“He’s still scared,” Castiel replied. “But I think at this point he’s just going to cry for a while.”

“Can we try and talk to him?” 

“I’m not sure, but I believe it might be better if I tried getting through to him first.”

Sam nodded. 

Cas walked over to his brother, and gently sat down next to him. He lifted a wing over Gabriel protectively and began to sing. It was an old Enochian lullaby that he had sung to Castiel as a fledgling.

_a lviahe bvtmoni butmoni___  
_i lucifitias od iadnamad___

_ol trian blans gi, merifri___

_ca gi brgda vlcinin par zamran_

_ __ _

_ __ _

Sam stood to the side, carefully watching and waiting. He’d never heard Cas sing before. Whatever he was singing was very soothing.  
He knew very little Enochian, but he could tell the song had something to do with music or singing, and sleep.  
Being who he is, his gut tugged at him to help, but he really couldn’t do anything right now. 

Gabriel was still curled into himself. The sobs racked his whole body. The only time he stopped crying was to cough, which sounded a lot more like he was choking from a lack of oxygen. He sounded exhausted. 

This process repeated for a while. Sam waited as Castiel did his best to calm Gabriel.  
Though he couldn't see Cas's face, Sam was pretty sure he was crying. He heard the angel's voice falter and crack a few times. 

\---  
"Come on Cassie," Gabriel sighed. "Please stop cryin'. I don't even know why you're upset."

Cas was currently in a ball, wings curled around himself. Gabriel had just found him like that, and since the fledgling refused to communicate, he had no clue how to help.

"Help me out, here. I'm terrible with kids." 

Gabriel racked his brain for a solution, anything that would help. After a minute or so, he thought of something. 

"Okay, I'm terrible at singing, but I heard Raph sing this. Bear with me." 

He sat down next to the fledgling and draped 2 of the 3 wings he had on that side over Castiel.  
He awkwardly and quietly repeated a warm up song a few times. Then took a deep breath.

_“a... lviahe bvtmo--ni butmoni___  
_i lu-- i lucifitias od iadnamad___  
_ol trian blans... gi, merifri_  
_ca g-- ca gi brgda… vlcinin par zamran”_____

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Despite what he said earlier, Gabriel could sing very well. Maybe not as good as other angels, since he skipped choir a lot, but it was just something angels were able to do well from the start.

Cas seemed to be crying a bit less now. 

“Hey, bud. You doin’ okay?” Gabriel said, tucking his knees up to his chest to appear smaller. Archangels are twice the size of regular angels, not to mention wingspan. So Gabriel, who was as close to a teenager as an archangel could be, wanted to look smaller as not to scare Castiel. Castiel was a regular angel, like most others, and was a fledgling, which was the equivalent of a human child. 

Cas sighed. “I don’t know…” 

Gabriel pulled the fledgling closer with his wings. “S’alright. Take your time, kiddo.”

“I’m bad at flying... And Balthazar says I’ll get there but I worked really hard to catch up to all the other fledglings today.” 

“You must be pretty tired, huh?” Gabriel replied. 

Castiel nodded. 

“Yeah, I get that. It took me a while to learn how to fly. And to this day, I’m still clumsy with it. Once ya get a little better at it, you’ll be flyin’ better than me.”

Cas covered his mouth in an attempt not to giggle, he didn’t want to offend a higher ranking angel. “You’re an archangel, you fly better than any of us.” 

“Tell that to Michael. He never shuts up about how I fly.” “Your posture is terrible, spread your wings differently, your whole stance is wrong.” He mocked. “He’s been hounding me about it since the four of us started learning.”

“Heh. I guess so. I just wanna be able to fly around the way Balthazar does, I mean, he waits for me to catch up, but it would be so much more fun if I could just fly… Better.” 

“Well, you gotta take time to practice outside of class. It’s also important to let yourself rest. I learned that the hard way.” Gabe said. 

“Can you sing again?” 

“Uhh, sure?” Gabriel replied. He didn’t realize he was good enough for an encore, but hey, whatever helps.

_“a lviahe bvtmoni butmoni”_ he began. Cas curled up in Gabriel’s wings, and basically fell asleep there and then.__

Gabriel smiled.

_“i lucifitias od iadnamad___

_ _ _ol trian blans gi, merifri___ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ca gi brgda vlcinin par zamran”___ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _

\---

A few hours later after everything had died down, Cas and Sam were talking in the kitchen. Gabriel, who was now calm but unresponsive, was situated in a bedroom close to Sam’s.

"I just can't understand it." Castiel sighed. "We all knew for sure that Gabriel was… Was gone. I couldn't feel his presence."

"I dunno. I guess hiding like that is just something archangels can do." Sam replied. He was on his third coffee and still felt exhausted.

"And he was being tortured the whole time…" The angel's voice became quiet. "For years."

The sudden change in Cas's tone made Sam feel even worse. He'd never seen Cas this upset, nor Gabriel, and all in the same day. "It's really horrible, I know."

"I've never seen anything like this. I know of angels who've been tortured, but not this way. Others have completely snapped from less, I don't know if he can come back." 

Sam looked down at his coffee. How was he supposed to respond to that? “I… Uh… I think I’m gonna go check on him.”

Cas nodded. “Tell me if you need help.”

“Yep.” Sam said quickly as he stood up. Just before he left the kitchen he turned to face the angel. “We’ll… We’ll figure it out. He’s strong. I mean, even if it takes a long time, he always is.”

Castiel could only hope that Sam was right. 

Door 32. Door 32 was where they’d arranged for Gabriel to stay and to heal. It had everything else the other rooms of the bunker had, a bed, a dresser, a heater, lights, side tables, a desk.

He’d brought a bit of medical supplies, some washcloths, bandages, disinfecting wipes, and water. Sam gently knocked on the door to let Gabriel know someone was there.

“Hey, it’s Sam.” 

The room he swung the door open to was dark. He heard very quiet, uneasy breathing. “It’s just me, I’m gonna turn the light on.”

Sam flipped the switch and the room lit up. It was how he and Cas had left it. Except, Gabriel was curled up in a corner rather than on the bed.

“Gabe…” Sam sighed. The archangel didn’t acknowledge him at all. 

The hunter’s expression dimmed. He slowly approached Gabriel, and carefully sat down across from him, setting down the small amount of medical items he’d brought. He tucked his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on his stomach. 

“You don’t have to talk to me,” Sam said. “I’m just checking on you.” 

Gabriel eyed the bandages and cloths, then his eyes trailed up to Sam, all in a silent question.

“I wanted to clean up some of the wounds on your face. Is that alright?”

Gabriel said nothing, but his eye contact with Sam remained. The once vibrant whiskey eyes were now dull, and they were saying things that his voice couldn’t. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. I actually think you’d feel a little better.” Sam answered. 

The archangel just curled up more. He looked back at the supplies, seeming to list the items in his head. Taking note of details, wondering if anything could be used to hurt him.

“I have washcloths to clean up the blood,” Sam pointed to each thing he described. “Some water for said washcloth, some bandaids, and some disinfecting wipes, just to make sure the cuts don’t get worse. And the gauze is just in case we have to wrap something.”

Again, Gabriel’s eyes said everything. _I don’t trust you yet. You’ll hurt me.___

_ _“Hurting you is the last thing I’d ever do.” Sam replied softly. “I want you to feel safe.”_ _

__ _Slowly, Sam reached out his hand. After a moment of processing, and then a moment of reluctance, he accepted the act of comfort. His hands were much too unsteady, but he lifted it as best he could._  
The archangel’s hands were freezing, dry, shaky, and bloody. There were still open wounds that continued to seep.  
He kept his eyes trained on Sam’s hand, sometimes they darted elsewhere, his other hand, his face, watching for any sign of danger.  
Sam’s expression was sad, but also gentle and kind. Nothing in his eyes showed any plans of ill intent. 

_ _“I’m gonna switch hands so I can bandage this one, is that alright?” The hunter asked. _ _

_ _Gabe remained silent, but he was still. His eyes were now locked onto Sam’s. Something about them seemed calmer._ _

__ _Sam switched hands like he said, and sunk the washcloth into the water bowl. After wringing it out, he carefully began to dab at the blood on the archangel’s hand._  
Under the blood were bruises and scars, some old, some recent. The deepest bruises were around his wrist, markings of hands and restraints. Sam made sure not to touch Gabriel’s arms.  
His knuckles were faintly bruised and deeply scarred, and his fingernails were cracked and bent, all seemingly at some attempts to escape. It was hard to see, but it was there. He guessed Gabriel had given up on breaking out.  
Sam felt like Ketch had busted Gabriel out just a little too late, a month earlier and maybe… Just maybe the Gabe here, now, wouldn’t feel so utterly hopeless. Maybe he would be able to speak. But he could tell something really snapped in the archangel the day he stopped kicking and punching at the cell door, clawing at the window, and fighting back. 

_ _He knew the feeling._ _

_ _Gabriel’s palm was another story altogether, the scrapes and calluses seemed to show that he was dragged around a lot, forced to the ground. Lacerations were dotted around his hand, some worse than others. Most notably a partially healed knife wound across his palm. Judging by Sam’s experience with rituals and spells, it seemed Gabriel’s blood was needed for something. It made him feel sick, Asmodeus took everything from the archangel. His grace, his blood, his spirit, his will to keep fighting, his hope, his freedom, his personality, his voice, his pride, his sanity. He didn’t want to think about what had been done to his wings._ _

_ _But now, all the blood and dirt had been cleaned off. Sam opened the packet of alcohol wipes._ _

_ _“This is gonna sting a little bit, but I’m not trying to hurt you, okay?” Sam comforted._ _

_ _Gabriel gasped as the disinfectant stung his cuts and scrapes. After a moment he jerked his hand back in fear. _ _

_ _“I’m sorry, I know that hurts like hell. I’ll just do it super fast then bandage it, okay?” _ _

_ _After a bit of reluctance, Gabriel returned his hand to Sam’s. Sam did a very quick wipedown of the hand then dug through the box of bandaids. He wrapped two around a finger and a bigger one around his thumb. He then began to wrap gauze around Gabe’s hand, covering the knife wound and his knuckles. He tied it off and sat back. _ _

_ _“All done.” _ _

_ _Gabriel remained silent, but his expression seemed softer.  
His hand felt warm._ _


End file.
